Now, without further adieu, I give you . . . "Puppy."
My family (meaning Hubs and my oldest two kids. The baby can't speak yet, but she'd probably be in on this too) want to get a puppy. They promise to feed, play, walk, get up with it in the night, and clean up after it.
About two years ago, Hubs and the two oldest (still working on code names) were begging me for a baby. They promised they would help feed, play, walk, get up with it in the night, and clean up after it. Sound familiar?
Well, I thought with all that help, adding a baby to our family would be a breeze. So, I was a good wife mother and gave them a baby. At first they all wanted to hold, play, clean, walk, and take care of her. But, the novelty wore off, and almost a year later, who is doing 99% of the work? Do I really need to answer that question?
IT'S ME! ME!!!
Then it dawned on me one day, when Hubs was mentioning an ad he saw for free puppies, that we don't need a dog. Because basically we already have one.
Our baby is just like a puppy!
Now hear me out before you send me angry comments, or report me to CPS.
1.Baby crawls on all fours.
2. Baby slobbers all over everything.
3. Baby chews on the furniture.
4. When she kisses you, she licks you.
5. She eats scraps off the floor.
6. She bites.
7. We can take her for walks.
8. When Hubs comes home she runs (crawls quickly) to the front door and jumps (pulls herself) up on him.
9. Somehow, she always ends up sleeping in our bed.
I really tried to think of one more, so it could be an even ten for you, Adrian Monk. Unfortunately, I couldn't. As you can see, we really don't need a dog, because basically we already do. So, the next time someone begs me for a puppy, I'm going to slap a collar on Baby, and have them take her for a walk.
Oh, I thought of number 10. She likes to fetch!